SMILE AND SALUTE.

Life will never give what we want.

I want pink hair. Shocking pink, really shocking pink indeed. the farthest I went was only DIY bleach bangs. 

I want to have tattoos. I want to wear my studs freely. I want to wear dresses and skirts. I want to have killer bodies. I want a lot of things. 

However life is brilliant. She will only let us have one thing at a time. Mostly what we need, not what we want. :)

THINGS ARE GETTING BETTER

Its has been forever since I posted anything. The world has turned around few times, and it turns really good.

Simplify the story, currently I am working a retail position with a decent income. Able to survive. Somehow I lost the luck in relationship. Nahhhh, all is good. Just don't push the luck coming in.

Since the last post which was in May, I have gone through a lot of things. I have met people, good ones and bad one. For the first time in my life, i am being used. Luckily I do realized the game played early. Love is dangerous dear young people. Don;t you ever blindly follow your heart. HAHA.

It is now the time to wake up and see the rainbow after the rain. :3

RELIGION

I believe that religion is personal.
There is no need to bash other religion.
There is no need to do comparisons.
There is enough space for everybody.

Kau kata kau Muslim tapi kau macam lupa konsep "Bagiku agamaku, bagimu agamamu".

MAK MONA

Hati rindu gurindam Mak Mona,

Jiwa sayu tiada tentu,

Kawan berlari bertapak merata,

Aku merangkak menangis sendu.

Cilaka menimpa bertimpa-timpa. Aku surrender !

FBS #7

Jangan pilih pasangan yang baik, pilih pasangan yang buat kita jadi baik.

by : ARIL MIKHAIL

MEMILIH DALAM KEKOSONGAN

Aku tidak punya ketegaran. Aku cepat mengalah, tapi aku tidak melatah.

Sekali lagi aku tempuh dunia pengangguran. Macam ada sumpahan tak mahu dia lepaskan aku. Rindulah tu.

Kali ni bukan tamat kontrak. Aku cabut. Aku tak boleh mengerjakan jawatan itu. Hati dan perasaan aku tolak habis skop kerjaya dalam bidang sialan itu. Aku tak sanggup menjadi kurang ajar. Aku tak reti nak memaksa orang untuk sesuatu yang memang di luar kemampuan mereka.Aku tidak erti kenapa harus menjadi lidah berbisa.

Terangkan cerita aku kerja jawatan tele-collector. Apa nama jawatan ini dalam bahasa melayu sumpah aku tak tau. Aku dah cuba, memang aku boleh capai target kalau berusaha gigih. Boleh tapi bertapi.

Sialan. Aku tak boleh kerja ni sebab aku rasa aku jadi jahat. Aku jadi kurang ajar. Aku kene jadi orang yang aku benci.

FBS #6

"Hati aku masih berkudis dengan kau"

By: ZA

KESUNGGUHAN DALAM PERUBAHAN : 2

( deviantART )

Dan aku pun sedar yang memang bukan senang nak berubah(hasil dari pengalaman dan percubaan lalu).

Perkara pokok nya sikit saja, ada dua. Perkara yang kena dihentikan dan perkara yang perlu dimulakan.
Berhenti menjadi malas dan mulakan jadi rajin. Lambat laun masalah akan selesai.

KERJA

Bila menganggur sibuk cari kerja,
Dah diterima bekerja mulalah gembira,
Dah mula bekerja rasa macam celaka,
Maka kembalilah aku kepada mengangggur.

Sampai bila nak berputar macam ni ? T.T

ANDROGYNOUS: THE TRIGGER

People always question why.

"Why the hell that boy wanna look like a girl?"
"Is he in the right mind?"
"What would his parent think?"


Here is why I would be like this. First is somewhat of payback. I have been labeled, since I was a child. Not just by peer, but from adults as well. Just name it, pondan, sissy, sotong and what else. I have been through all that shit since I don't even know what the word sex is about. I was made to believe that I didn't worth living. I was made to believe that I wasn't normal. But a little did they know that I have never made up all my act. I have never intended to walk too grace. I have never intended to talk too soft. I have never intended to be "abnormal".

But one thing for sure, I have never been taught to give up and surrender to what people say. I was raised by great single women, therefore I can somehow relate the pain and grief of life. I learned how to push aside all those bullies and silly jokes. All these women, my late Opah, Mama and my aunts are my idol.

As I grow up, reaching adolescence and all I have changed. I learn how to walk proud and tall, I control my speech and I welcome anybody to critic me so that I am able to know what is my flaw. I keep on and am trying to be a better man.  Still there is a bit of hint that will make people notice that i am certainly not straight as what they would expected of a man. I am disappointing myself as time goes by. I just cant help being me. Why are people are so mean, can't they just accept me as who i am without any prejudice ?

I have seek acceptance from strangers. Strangers that is around me. When I go shopping. When i go to school. When I am working. All those stranger around me if you get what I mean. They keep judging and judging.

But hell with them, I keep on doing what I want. I want long hair. Not ladylike long but the cool rockstar long. So there was a period where i did not cut my hair in order to be 'cool'. After few months, there was me with a shoulder length hair. I am proud with my hair the most other than other part of me. Then the reality strikes, despite my normal attires(shirt/T-shirt & jeans) I still have this feminine face. So u can actually sums it up, girly face + long hair - flat chest = CONFUSION.

So it nudge my mind, why can't i be both ? So I did and I keep on that look for quite some time. :)



P/s : Actually i wish to upload a picture but the line was too slow i gave up. Next time folks. :P

KESUNGGUHAN DALAM PERUBAHAN

Asal pikirkan azam mesti cakap nak berubah. Alamkdoi dah berjuta kali aku cakap nak berubah tapi harommm.

Dalam berapa hari aku masih terpikir, berubah ? Apa yang aku nak ubah sebenarnya. Selalu tengok pencapaian orang lain, makan hati. Tengok orang muka cantik, makan hati. Tengok orang pakai barang baik, makan hati.

Lepas pikir punya pikir, aku tengok balik latar belakang orang orang tersebut. Diorang bukan dilahirkan hebat. Semua dilahirkan lebih kurang sahaja dengan aku. Cuma satu yang aku nampak perbezaan, mereka TIDAK MALAS!

Maka aku pun dah tekad, harapnya kali ini aku dapat buktikan pada diri aku sendiri yang aku mampu untuk berubah menjadi lebih baik!

Sebelum ni selalunya dua tiga hari je aku bersemangat. Lepas tuh lebuh.

Tahun ini aku akan buktikan, kesungguhan aku dalam perubahan!